


All of Nothing

by MindNoise



Category: Adam Lambert (Musician), Tommy Ratliff (Musician)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-11
Updated: 2017-10-11
Packaged: 2019-01-16 04:55:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12335898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MindNoise/pseuds/MindNoise
Summary: Halloween-ish story. There's a Halloween element, but it's more about Adam and Tommy.





	All of Nothing

**Author's Note:**

> Here's the song the quote at the beginning and the story title are from: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5TuZlS5WXcU (copy/paste link to hear song)

“I was looking for an ending when I fell into you.

You were like a dream, ‘cause you never came true.

You said it all meant nothing to you.

Now you turn around and tear me just for something to do.

You like to make it bleed, but you never cut through.

You say it all means nothing to you.”

 

He follows the crowd, shuffling forward a few inches before stopping again. He’s not so much following as being herded with the crowd. He glances around his group. The entryway into the haunted attraction isn’t far now. He tries to remain patient. He loves Halloween. He loves being scared. This attraction is new to the area and when Adam texted him an invite, he immediately accepted, partly because of the attraction and partly because of Adam. He never sees Adam anymore. Maybe _never_ is a strong word, but it’s rare now. He’s invited to Adam’s big shindigs like his birthday and New Year’s Eve parties, of course, so is the rest of the state practically, but to hang out? Rarely. They used to be joined at the hip, but now… If he thinks about it, thinks about that shift, he feels disoriented, like he’s in the wrong time. He used to be first to Adam. Now he might be last if he’s lucky. The group moves forward.

Adam is at the front of their group. The leader, the center, the glue.  He chatters endlessly at those around him, smiling, touching, laughing. Tommy knows it’s generic chit chat. Adam reserves deep conversation and intimacy for a select few. Adam has a carefully constructed wall, but those around him don’t realize this until they cross that threshold. Most won’t cross it. Most don’t care, they just want to be near him, on the “inside.” Adam loves people and it doesn’t seem to bother him to have hangers-on. He’ll gently nudge them to the curb one day, but for now they have Adam’s attention and approval, and Tommy’s resentful. He can see Adam’s eyes light up even from this distance and in the darkness. He swallows his sudden anger at them, at Adam, at himself. He knows what those next to Adam are feeling – elation, importance, like they’re in an exclusive bubble. And they are, for now. They’ll slip out of that bubble one day, thinking their connection with Adam infallible, and the reality will be confusing. Adam is a dream that never really comes true.

The first time Tommy met Adam, he wasn’t all that enamored. He needed a job and it was an audition. He knew Adam had been on American Idol, but Tommy found the show insipid and didn’t bother watching. He couldn’t imagine anything (anyone) completely unique coming from it. Adam in action changed his mind. Not about the show itself, but about Adam being another cookie cutter artist with little talent. The rest was well known history. Most of it, anyway. Most didn’t know about the slow burn between them fueled by stage action until there was a frantic blow job in a bathroom stall at one venue. The off-stage hook ups were secret and infrequent. Sex was a release, nothing more. They were on the road, they only had each other. The agreement was unspoken but clear as it usually is between friends with benefits.  Sex or not, Tommy never really expected to slide out of the zone he was in, and one day he realized that Adam was no longer a day to day constant in his life. They were living separate lives once again, and Tommy felt his atmosphere dim a little. Up ahead, Adam laughs, looking over his shoulder. Tommy catches his eye and he hates the hopeful feeling bubbling up inside. It makes him feel dependent and weak. Adam smiles at him and turns away. His heart falls. The group moves forward.

He stares at his shoes, looks around the grounds of the attraction, which is lit up like a theme park. He’s trying to ignore his need for Adam’s attention and the lack of it. When did it turn into this? He has no doubt Adam would be there if Tommy needed him, without hesitation. In fact, he has been. Still, it’s not the same because Adam goes away again and Tommy lets him. There used to be a time when he couldn’t shake Adam if he wanted to. But nothing’s the same. Sometimes Tommy wants things to just remain. He’s had too many big changes over the years and it’s left him feeling drained and lonely, separated from normalcy. He realizes someone is talking to him. He has no idea what about, but he smiles at the right moment, effectively masking his irritation at his situation. He watches one of the hangers-on motion wildly while telling a story and Adam laughs loudly. Tommy rolls his eyes. He’s pissed because these people will see Adam tomorrow; he won’t. Rationally, it’s not their fault. So, whose is it? His? Adam’s? Does it matter? He might’ve been the one to insist the sex meant nothing, which might have been the start of their end. But it’s easier to be mad at Adam for taking it literally.

They reach the entryway into the haunted attraction. First a “castle” of horrors, then on to a trail through a cornfield lined with monsters. The gatekeeper lets several groups stream in, theirs being the last group and Tommy being the last person inside as the door closes. They shuffle through a narrow, dark hallway into a library. They’ll tour the first level only. People line up near a cobweb covered bookcase with glow in the dark busts situated between books and giggle nervously. Shrieks are exaggerated when friends attempt to scare each other while they wait. It annoys him and makes him restless. He wishes he hadn’t come. Not with Adam anyway. It’s just brought up past shit he’s managed to push down. He looks back at the door they just came through, wishing he could go back. Back through the door or through the past? He’s not sure.

Their guide stands in front of them and begins her spiel, her voice sharp and loud to induce fear in the visitors. Her recitation of the haunted castle and the murder in the library go right by Tommy. He’s not paying attention. He can hear Adam laughing and whispering and it’s distracting. He tries to get back into the Halloween groove as they walk through the rooms, but the overplayed speeches, the bumps and thumps, the screams annoy him. They’re finally chased outside by a guy with a chainsaw. The large group scatters as everyone tries to outrun the chainsaw. Tommy walks a brisk pace to keep up with everyone as they head to the cornfield.

The carefully mapped trail going into and through the cornfield is narrow and roped off on each side so visitors don’t wander or get lost. There’s not enough room for people to walk side by side but some try so they present a somewhat united front against the monsters. Tommy stays in the back, dodging corn stalks and leaves swaying as people push by them. Up ahead, a deep shout followed by surprised shrieks. Tommy is grabbed at the waist and pulled off the trail. His heart jumps in surprise, then fear that he might actually be in danger. They’re not supposed to touch you in these places let alone drag you off to be killed. His back is pulled flush with another body and a voice breathes into his ear.

“Shhhhh.”

Recognition is immediate and his heart jumps for a different reason. Adam pulls him deeper into the corn stalks where the flood lights don’t reach. Tommy turns to face him and Adam’s mouth is already on his. His earlier feelings and memories come screaming back and then dissipate with the feel of Adam so close. Adrenaline floods him and he feels weak with its abruptness. Tommy presses against him. He hasn’t been this close to Adam in so long it’s making him lightheaded. Adam palms his cock, making it ache. He unbuttons his pants as Adam removes a small foil packet of lube from his pocket. These packets were a staple of their dressing room or bathroom trysts. He tears it open with his teeth and puts a generous amount on his finger. Tommy almost laughs.

Adam slips his finger down the back and right into Tommy. Tommy’s breath comes out in a rush, a slight moan at the end. Adam’s leg bends forward and Tommy straddles it, his mouth lunging for Adam’s again. He moves his hips in time with Adam’s finger, his cock rubbing against Adam’s thigh. Sparks shoot through Tommy’s spine and he could get off from just this. Adam adds another finger and Tommy slides his hand into Adam’s pants, feeling hot skin and hardness. He squeezes and strokes and Adam’s breath becomes quicker. When Adam removes his fingers, the emptiness feels even colder.

He turns Tommy again, sliding his pants down his hips. There’s nothing stable for Tommy to hold onto, so he reaches back and grasps the side of Adam’s thighs. Adam holds Tommy around the waist, and slides in. The burn causes him to gasp. Adam sets a pace, quick and hard. His grip around Tommy becomes tighter. It’s been years but he’s so familiar, like he’s ingrained in Tommy. Maybe he is.

Adam breathes into the back of his neck. He nibbles, he bites, and Tommy strokes himself. He hears screams from the cornfield as visitors wind their way through the trail, walking past them and not seeing them. Neither the staff nor the guests have any idea what’s happening so close to them. He gasps feeling the end near. Adam pauses, causing Tommy’s orgasm to subside. Tommy huffs in frustration. Adam gives a throaty laugh and licks the bend in Tommy’s neck. When he resumes his pace, Tommy leans his head back onto Adam’s shoulder. Adam moves into him deep, pulsing right where it makes Tommy crazy. He always did like making Tommy squirm. The tingle through his body aches and he holds as still as possible as Adam’s cock pushes into his prostate, fearing any move away from it will delay his orgasm.

Adam stays deep but moves faster. His hand encircles Tommy’s cock, his thumb rubbing the tip. Tommy’s presses the back of his head more into Adam’s shoulder, his ability to cry out gone as he comes. His body shakes and his face tingles. He’s not sure if his feet are touching the ground. Adam buries his face in Tommy’s neck, his groan muffled as he comes. Wet heat fills Tommy and he squeezes around Adam’s cock, relishing the stuttering whimper he emits.

He’s dizzy when Adam releases him. He feels empty and full at the same time. Cold and hot. Distant and close. He has no idea what this even means. Another long-awaited hook up? Could it be more? Should it be more? He buttons his pants and turns to Adam. They don’t speak. Tommy can’t read his face anymore. This bothers him.  He has a thousand things to say and not one comes to mind. Adam smiles. He gently kisses Tommy’s forehead and moves past him back to the trail. Tommy follows.


End file.
